Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
50% drunk capacity currently
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
