wrigley field is MILF paradise
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
