It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
