You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
