That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
