your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
