Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
