i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
