Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
