he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
