Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He passed out mid-signature
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
