Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Alive.
So much puke
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
