seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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