dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
