is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
