Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
