im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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