I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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