This dress was meant to end up on your floor
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
