I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
