I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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