there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
