Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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