you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
