He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
