No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
