fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
