Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
