I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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