I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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