soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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