do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
