My brain says no but my pants say off.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
