the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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