I like my sex mixed with concussions.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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