i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
