Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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