i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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