ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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