Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
