Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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