sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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