We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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