you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
