Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
