I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
