Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
