Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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