In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
