We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I understand Curling. That high.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
