Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
